Book Selection Status: READ
Month: July 2011
Genre: Fiction - Thriller
Book of the Month: Save Me
Author: Lisa Scottoline
Question source: http://scottoline.com/Site/Bookclubs/
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1. SAVE ME explores the mother and child relationship, at its heart. What do you think defines a mother? How is a mother and child relationship different than any other relationship? Look at other forms of culture, like art, for example. How many depictions are there of mother and child? And how many of father and child? Are we discriminating against fathers, or diminishing them, by all this talk of the mother-child bond? And by doing so, do we create a self-fulfilling prophecy?
2. In SAVE ME, Melly is the victim of bullying because of a birthmark on her face. Do you think bullying is different today than years ago? Do you think that the bullying is getting worse, or are we just hearing more about it because of the Internet? What do you think parents and schools should do to help curb bullying? What kind of punishment do you think is appropriate for the child who is doing the bullying? What about those who watch and say nothing? Are they, or aren't they, equally as culpable? Do you think that school programs and curricula that build up self-esteem and a sense of community will really make a difference?
3. Rose experienced her own bullying at the hands of the angry parents, which gave her new perspective on what Melly was going through. Do you have any experience with bullying between adults? In what ways are adults better equipped to deal with bullying than children? What impact can bullying have on adults, and what can an adult do if they are faced with a bully? What impact does being a bully, or being a bully as an adult, have on their children?
4. Rose steps in to defend Melly against her bully. Do you think it was a good idea? Why or why not? How do you think a parent's involvement hurts or helps the situation? At what point do you think a parent needs to involve themselves in the situation? What steps would you take to help your child if they were being bullied, and how far would you be willing to go?
5. What impact do you think a physical blemish has on a child, and how do you think it effects their identity, their relationship with their family, and their relationship with the outside world? Take it a step further -- like how about physical differences, like a child in a wheelchair? Or learning challenges, that aren't so visible? Or how about discriminations based on race, religion or sexual orientation? Melly's father reacted very badly to Melly's birthmark. What did his reaction make you feel about him?
6. Many of Lisa's books center on single mothers or blended families. Do you think the love of one great parent is enough to sustain a child through life? Does it take a husband, too? Or a village?
7. As Rose found out, volunteering comes with risks. The book makes clear that this is a problem in the law of many states, maybe even where you live. What do you think of the laws in terms of protecting those who volunteer their time? What changes, if any, would you make to the laws to protect volunteers? Should we expand the Good Samaritan statues to include volunteers and to encourage even more people to volunteer?
8. How did you feel about Rose keeping her secret past from Leo? Did you understand her reasoning? Did you agree or disagree with it? What impact do you think Rose's past will have on her marriage as she moves forward? Do you think she will ever really be able to escape what happened? Will he forgive her not telling him? How do secrets impact intimacy in our lives?
9. Rose was called a "helicopter" parent, a term often used in today's society with a negative connotation. What separates helicopter parenting from good parenting? What kind of parent do you think Rose was? What mistakes do you think she made? Do you think she was a good mother? Do you think she favors Melly, or the baby? Or treats them equally?
10. How did you feel about Amanda in the beginning of the book? How, if at all, did your opinion of her change by the end of the book? What do you think causes children to be bullies? Under what circumstances would you ever feel bad for the bully? In punishing a bully, do you think their personal circumstances should be taken into account?
Month: July 2011
Genre: Fiction - Thriller
Book of the Month: Save Me
Author: Lisa Scottoline
Question source: http://scottoline.com/Site/Bookclubs/
Discussion Questions:
2. In SAVE ME, Melly is the victim of bullying because of a birthmark on her face. Do you think bullying is different today than years ago? Do you think that the bullying is getting worse, or are we just hearing more about it because of the Internet? What do you think parents and schools should do to help curb bullying? What kind of punishment do you think is appropriate for the child who is doing the bullying? What about those who watch and say nothing? Are they, or aren't they, equally as culpable? Do you think that school programs and curricula that build up self-esteem and a sense of community will really make a difference?
3. Rose experienced her own bullying at the hands of the angry parents, which gave her new perspective on what Melly was going through. Do you have any experience with bullying between adults? In what ways are adults better equipped to deal with bullying than children? What impact can bullying have on adults, and what can an adult do if they are faced with a bully? What impact does being a bully, or being a bully as an adult, have on their children?
4. Rose steps in to defend Melly against her bully. Do you think it was a good idea? Why or why not? How do you think a parent's involvement hurts or helps the situation? At what point do you think a parent needs to involve themselves in the situation? What steps would you take to help your child if they were being bullied, and how far would you be willing to go?
5. What impact do you think a physical blemish has on a child, and how do you think it effects their identity, their relationship with their family, and their relationship with the outside world? Take it a step further -- like how about physical differences, like a child in a wheelchair? Or learning challenges, that aren't so visible? Or how about discriminations based on race, religion or sexual orientation? Melly's father reacted very badly to Melly's birthmark. What did his reaction make you feel about him?
6. Many of Lisa's books center on single mothers or blended families. Do you think the love of one great parent is enough to sustain a child through life? Does it take a husband, too? Or a village?
7. As Rose found out, volunteering comes with risks. The book makes clear that this is a problem in the law of many states, maybe even where you live. What do you think of the laws in terms of protecting those who volunteer their time? What changes, if any, would you make to the laws to protect volunteers? Should we expand the Good Samaritan statues to include volunteers and to encourage even more people to volunteer?
8. How did you feel about Rose keeping her secret past from Leo? Did you understand her reasoning? Did you agree or disagree with it? What impact do you think Rose's past will have on her marriage as she moves forward? Do you think she will ever really be able to escape what happened? Will he forgive her not telling him? How do secrets impact intimacy in our lives?
9. Rose was called a "helicopter" parent, a term often used in today's society with a negative connotation. What separates helicopter parenting from good parenting? What kind of parent do you think Rose was? What mistakes do you think she made? Do you think she was a good mother? Do you think she favors Melly, or the baby? Or treats them equally?
10. How did you feel about Amanda in the beginning of the book? How, if at all, did your opinion of her change by the end of the book? What do you think causes children to be bullies? Under what circumstances would you ever feel bad for the bully? In punishing a bully, do you think their personal circumstances should be taken into account?
11. What did you think of Rose's lawyers' strategy? Did you agree or disagree with it? Why or why not? Do you think they were just passing the blame, or do you think the school had a responsibility in what happened? Do you think that litigation is another form of bullying? Do you know anybody who is sue-happy?
2 comments:
1. I think a mother is anyone who loves, cares for, and is responsible for a child. I think a mother-child relationship child is different because you are willing to sacrifice and give up so much for your child that you wouldn't be willing to give up for anyone else. Throughout art you see images of mother and children - historically the fathers were not involved like mothers. I don't think we diminish them and I think there are always exceptions to the rule of the mother-child bond, but it is different.
2. I think in the age of electronic media bullying has become more advanced. I think we hear more about bullying because of the media and the internet, but not that it is more prevalent today. I think parents and schools should be aware and do all they can to have a no tolerance policy and be held accountable for the behavior. I think children should be spoken to and taught that it isn't right. As a child who was completely ostracized by all the girls in 5th grade I know how painful it is - I think those who watch and don't say anything should be held accountable too. I like to think that if my school would have had a program to build self-esteem and community it would have helped. Anything would have been better than a disinterested teacher who allowed it to occur daily and parents who didn't speak to their children.
3. I haven't seen bullying like that as an adult (thank goodness!), but I think adults can think more rationally with the situation and know how to deal with it or ignore it. I think children mimic those authority figures around them so it is important for them to have good examples around them.
4. I think Rose should have alerted the school and tried to help that way before confronting the children directly. I would be willing to talk to other parents, but there are so many people who are afraid of confrontation and wouldn't do that. I ended up transferring schools and then in 7th grade went back to school with the girls who had previously bullied me...they stopped and life was better, but it was a difficult choice.
5. I think physical differences - or any kind of differences that make children different can mark them as targets. Children are cruel. It is our job as parents and mentors to try and make them realize that there is nothing wrong with being different and to teach compassion. I thought Melly's father was superficial based on his reaction. She was healthy otherwise which is way more important!
6. I do not think that a traditional family is required to have a happy, well-adjusted child. I think it requires love, attention, and care - whether it is from one parent, a village, or a traditional two-parent family (however that two-parent family is made up).
7. I think laws should protect volunteers - especially if it would encourage more people to volunteer. I don't think you can expect volunteers to be held to the same standards as trained professionals.
8. I can understand why she kept it a secret, but I would hope that if you were going to marry someone you would feel like you could tell them something like that. I think it takes a long time to repair broken trust and although it can be repaired it definitely damages the intimacy in our lives. Why trust someone with your secrets when you don't trust them?
9. I think she was a bit of a helicopter parent. I think good parents let their kids make mistakes and choices, ultimately letting them learn about the affect of their decisions. I do think she is a good mother and I don't think she favors one child over another, but rather treats them differently. You can't treat each child exactly the same - they have different needs and wants.
10. I didn't like Amanda. I was glad to see that she had learned some humility and compassion by the end of the book. I don't know that I ever would feel bad for the bully and I wouldn't take their personal circumstances into account. How many times do we hear stories of people who overcame exceptional odds to accomplish great things?
11. I do know at least one or two people who are sue-happy who I think don't like to take responsibility for the choices or circumstances. I didn't have a strong opinion about the lawyers strategy - they are trying to do their jobs and protect Rose. I think school holds some responsibility for the safety of the students and insuring they are in a building that is secure.
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